Tag: TARC

Why do I run? (post-race thoughts)

I quit the TARC Frozen Yeti 30 Hour after almost 10 hours and 50+ miles, far in the lead. Yes, wow, I did.

There was someone and somewhere else I wanted to be. All this time spent running, and I’d become completely obsessed and fallen behind as a husband, friend and family member. The day after was February 3rd, Super Bowl Sunday, and I was resigned to sleep through a day when my wife really needed me after a few horrible weeks and our annual family Super Bowl party. Running that long gives you way too much time to think.

In 2018, I logged 2,700 miles and 377 hours of running time. I started running in October 2016. How quickly I fell in love? Running is one of the best things that happened to me.

I love to run because it helps me process my emotions. There are a lot of things to be excited or frustrated about, but we don’t all have a way to express them. The rustling of leaves, sun shining through the trees, birds chirping, the stillness of the woods, these are all part of the great experience. Running brings me back to simpler times. I feel like a kid again, playing in the woods, searching for frogs and building forts out of fallen branches.

Some context. My wife and I lost something special in early 2015. It derailed our lives. We were both preparing for some large life changes, and I had practically researched and read everything about being a father and planned every financial scenario to the T. When you least expect something, it hurts the most, and we got a whopper.

I did everything I could to escape feeling something, but there was nothing I could do. I cried at work, drove around at night and drank my worries away, only to find them back again and ten times worse the next day. They say running is an escape, but I disagree. You face your pain head on. It’s not like watching tv, being with friends or reading a book. You have your thoughts, all the time in the world and sometimes it can be overwhelming.

As a result of the past two years, I have never been happier. Today was not the day I gave up. Actually, it’s the day I remembered why I started running in the first place and remembered that being there for my best friend and wife means more to me than anything else. Running is my therapy, but the competitive aspect is secondary to the impact I can make on others because of its place in my life.

At 45 miles, I remembered the bigger picture and thought about what the race meant in the larger picture and it’s importance against my wife’s suffering over the past few weeks. This combined with pent-up guilt from being late and missing family events over the past few weeks, and I broke out into tears on the trail. I had been training the whole time when I should have been there.

At 50 miles, my wife had coincidentally just arrived at the lodge to cheer me on. She was ready to weather the storm, but I told her what I felt and that I wanted tomorrow to be a day spent together, and I was quitting the race. There was no better way to end, and I’m better for it.

On to the next big race.

4 Takeaways from Ultra Race Prep

My first big ultra, the 30hr Frozen Yeti, begins on Ground Hog Day at 8am. So far, I’ve done a 6hr TARCkey Trot (11/17/19) and 40M Winter Fells Winter Trail Ultra (12/1/19). Before those two races, I’ve run 5 marathon road races but nothing like this.

If all goes, well, here are my takeaways.

  1. Put in the miles
  2. Sleep deprivation
  3. Run the course if possible
  4. Train on more technical terrain than your race

The race is in the Hale Reservation in Westwood, MA. There is a required gear list that we need to carry at all times, and an additional gear list if forecast -20°F wind chill or below.

1. YOU DON’T NEED TO RUN THIS MUCH, BUT, leading up to the event, I got up to a max week of 100 miles like my marathon training. I recommend 60 max as a base if you’re running to be competitive. Running trails in training are key for a trail race. Common sense. I visited Hale twice and really loved the park. I also run in Walden State Park on Sundays and my beautiful hometown Fells anytime I can.

2. Two weeks ago, I was up 30 hours straight and did 4 runs to make sure I could handle the sleep deprivation. I read that practicing sleep deprivation was really helpful from Jason Robillard, author of “Never Wipe Your Ass with a Squirrel.” It was so tough, probably harder because I wasn’t always running. Ran about 25 miles total in the 4 runs. Watching tv was tough, and I almost closed my eyes a few times. When the 30 hours was over at 2pm next day, I fell asleep on my mother-in-law’s couch and pretty much slept until work the next morning.

3. It’s good to run the course so you’re ready for the terrain and know what type of wear your body will go through and any gear changes that may be necessary. For this race, I realized that I could wear trail flats. The course is not very technical, and it’s nice to have lighter shoes when tackling hills. Also, every park has a different trail width. Hale has thinner trails than my Fells, but they’re also more pronounced. The woods are thicker so any clearing usually means a trail, whereas in my Fells, the trails are nice and worn but can be deceiving. When you’re in the midst of a race and super tired, it’s nice to have a feel for knowing where to go if there isn’t another race marker nearby.

4. Another key to my running over the years, is that whatever the course, I make sure that I’m running now and then with much higher elevation and course difficulty. Usually, I run about 3000-4000 feet elevation per week, but recently, I’ve had some weeks over 8,000. The Skyline trail is considered technical and has twice the elevation per mile as Hale so I’ve run it a few times since my 40M (5 loops of Skyline). It’s important to be ready for what you’re facing and be able to say to yourself, hell, this could be worse, and I’ve done it before.

I’m both excited and nervous. My goal is to get over 100 miles and run all 30 hours, hopefully, both. Most important, I just want to know I never gave up. Hey, if some superstar shows up, I’m okay losing. First place at the 40M beat me by over 1.5 hours.